It is with great sadness I have to inform you that Chewy Duck, the Bobby Sands of Chabola, died of fright, starvation, infection and/or the cold during the night.
A funeral pyre of all the hedge clippings and apple tree prunings will be lit as soon as the gale force winds subside.
He will hardly be missed by his brothers, Huey, Dewey and Louie but Chairman Miaow, who was fascinated by his flapping always took a keen interest in his progress.
No flowers but cheques made out to Mike’s Christmas Goose Fund c/o HSBC Jersey would be appreciated.
I shall be spending Christmas in Buenos Aires so don’t expect a card from me this year.
However I do wish you a very Merry Christmas & a peaceful (Bush willing) New Year.